Juicer

This is a lean, mean juicing machine. It's got more crushing power than a brown bear in a blueberry bush so if you need thrill and excitement in your life this is the juicer for you (plus it comes with the original box and manuals). It's capable of juicing anything, carrots, fresh ginger, probably even a rock but I've never tried it. It comes with a rod to help push down tough fruit and veg, the rod can also double as a baton to hit your loved ones with. But what if you're single I hear you cry. Don't worry pal, not for much longer because this thing's got as much sex appeal as squeezed apple peel. It's a masticating juicer. I'm no juice nerd but according to the eggheads over at Lame University it's the healthiest kind as the low heat and low oxygen infusion prevents enzyme denaturation and nutrient oxidation. And that's good I think. It comes with all the pictured pieces. I don't mind driving a bit to deliver it if you're nearby in Cork. Otherwise I can send it through An Post however I will need payment upfront. You can blame my ex for my trust issues.